2:30am: just before I gave up on the idea of eating or drinking anything more and my eyes were begging for relief, I had a last minute epiphany: this is about detachment as well as connecting to the Divine. Who am I if I remove all my attachments to the things I casually consume each day? All the substances I am used to or addicted to? All the thought processes, however automatic, that lead me to daily actions, as comfortable and familiar as breathing in and out?
No answers materialized, except the knowing that I am embarking on a journey full of insights and what I always considered welcomed surprises and gentle socks.
This morning I am a bit disoriented: without my coffee and three cigarettes to start the day, I roam around the house trying to figure out what to do first: wash my face? or put clothes on? My body is quiet, my mind at sea....I start thinking am I supposed to pray? I pray for guidance: Please show me the way today. That's all I got.
i will my love if you let me
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